Now That the Relationship is Over, How do you Heal?

 

Ladies, you spent years of your precious life supporting a man, being there for a man, choosing him above your family, friends, and most of all yourself. You tried to force it to work. He cheated and you stayed. You may have strayed or you may have been faithful but you still stayed. He left you, you left him, or it was a mutual decision. No matter the case, your life is forever changed and you have to decide the next step. I need you to accept the situation. Sometimes men need to realize what they are missing as grass is not always greener on the other side. And for women the same is true. However, when it is time to go, its time to go. Don’t stay in a relationship because you are comfortable yet unhappy. We all have a very short time on this earth so why be unhappy in an unhealthy relationship. I need you to know your worth. You are powerful, you are beautiful, and men need you. Let me reiterate, “MEN NEED YOU”

Once the relationship is over, find yourself. There is no need to “turn up”. We as men know that you are hurting when you first get out of relationships. Take this time to reflect on the relationship. What he did wrong that you will no longer except from another man. Also reflect on what you did or did not do to affect the relationship. Many times women seek advice from their single friends….#WRONG. Many times women decide to just party, drink and try to forget about the pain. The thing is, you need to embrace the pain. In life we make mistakes and we learn from those mistakes. I need you to know the mistakes that were made in its entirety. Many times women and men settle in relationships. We all want someone so we deal with a person that we know is not good for us just to be with someone to feel secure. How can you possibly feel secure knowing deep inside that this is not the right person for you?

Once you figure out who you really are, your eyes will be open. Many times women and men look for someone to make them happy. However, if you are unhappy with yourself, how can you ever have a happy relationship? You have to stop looking for a man to make you happy. We cannot make you happy, we can only add to your happiness. And the same goes for you with men. You cannot make a man happy if he is not happy with his self. Men are more self-conscious than women. We care about our weight, our looks, and our size down there lol.

In short, in order to heal, you must find yourself. Once the relationship is over, this is the time to truly discover yourself, your likes, your dislikes, and what you really want in a relationship. Don’t rush into another relationship. Even though you out number us, there is someone for everyone and if you are patient, the right man will come along. With that said, I apologize for the men that have hurt you. You are special, and you are needed. I love you all. I hope that my words give you peace, hope, guidance, but most of all, I hope this gives you the perspective of a man.

~JB


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